SPECIAL TREAT: Ostrich eggs !!!

Hey, blog readers!!!

I just read a website...
You know what?
When I first read that w/site ...
i laughed non-STOP like someone has tickled my arms!!!
HAHAHAHA.... ** dush.. dush... dush!!!
WAKE UP bella!!!

The story was like this...

So, a few months ago, that Mrs "G" started doing her grocery shopping at Whole Foods. She switched stores because she was tired of buying rancid food at Giant Beagle. Everything was rancid- the produce, the meat, she even bought some moldy flatbread there once. Gross~!!!. Whole Foods is kinda expensive, but not as expensive as having to rebuy everything. She would rather buy a slightly expensive pot roast than buy a regular priced one and get it home to find that the bottom half of it is gray.
The Whole Foods near her house sells all kinds of eggs. They have the regular eggs, and brown eggs, but then they have a bunch of fucked up eggs, too!!!.

Little teeney quail eggs!!
Duck eggs!
Goose eggs!
Ostrich eggs!
Emu eggs!

It is kinda creepy and a little bit gross!!!

She has taken to calling this the egg bar, and she's not sure what it is really called. She was not even sure if they have it in other Whole Foods (in her head, she just pronounced that WHOLE FOODSES, in case you were wondering). Her pal Steve made it sound like maybe they didn't. Or maybe they just don't have egg bars where he's from. In any case, she has poor impulse control, so she dropped a jackson on an emu egg. She chose this egg because it was the largest (at the time- they did not have the ostrich eggs when she bought my emu egg), and it also looked like there would maybe be a dinosaur in it. She has to put the egg in its own special little metal basket, and then the cashier triple wrapped it and put it in a little bag.

Now I am gonna to share you guys about her cooking, and also show you pictures of how that went down...

Here is the egg. Please note that the first picture is a dude holding the egg, not a small-handed lady. Also, the pan she cooked it in was freaking huge, some kind of big ass saute pan.

She was going to make a massive fried egg!!!

She thought it would look pretty cool, and it is also her 2nd favorite way to have eggs. Her favorite is poached eggs, but She had no idea how to poach a massive egg. So, she preheated and Pam-ed her pan, and tried to break the egg on the edge of it. That did not work at all. She was afraid to knock it on the counter, cause the egg weighed a ton and probably would have chipped the tile. So she just bashed it on a plate until it cracked.
It cracked the wrong way (across the shell long-way instead of short-way)
and then I had to pry it apart with my fingers. I put the egg in the pan, and the motherfucking yolk broke.

Mmmmm! Scrambled eggs, then!!!

So she whipped that shit up, and scrambled it. It took a really long time. The first thing she noticed was that when the egg cooked, it started to smell pretty bad. Kinda like eggs + cheesy BO smell. hahahaa~~ pity her~ (^^__^)


By time she was finished cooking it, she was totally grossed out and definitely not going to eat it. She offered it to Drew, but he declined. She tried to put some hot sauce on it, cause sometimes she like eggs like that, but it wasn't happening. She really did not expect it to be so rank.
The yolk was HUGE in comparison to how much white there was, and the yolk was really light yellow. The scrambled egg looked sickly in addition to being smelly. She put it down the garbage disposal, because she was afraid that it would make my house smell bad, and that her dogs would get into the trash and spread it all over. She did not want to have to pick cold pieces of this sick egg off my floor.


She do not know what she expected. Maybe she wanted it to be a giant chicken egg, but it really wasn't. It was something nastier and funkier. Maybe she just got a bad one,she don't want to dis all the emus, but shit.

That shit was pretty gross!!!

- The End -

p/s: Dear bloggers,
reading this feel like to mock me off ayte!
hahahah...
stay tune with next post!!!